The obituary of 82-year-old Connecticuter Joe Heller, penned by his daughter Monique Heller, was praised as the “best obituary ever” by The New York Times, which also profiled Heller’s “wacky” funeral, a casual affair that saw his coffin carried off in a vintage Mack fire truck. Writing doesn’t get much more meaningful than that, and there’s nothing quite so moving as an obituary that truly captures and honors the spirit of the deceased.Įarlier this week, thousands of readers were blown away by an obit that did just that and then some. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, sure, but also: words to words. Why am I so eager to donate my time to this rather morbid type of writing? On one hand, it’s because, having written eulogies for loved ones, I know firsthand how difficult it can be to think clearly when grieving, and I imagine that, if you’re not used to writing every day, the task of crafting an obit can be mighty daunting but my interest in eulogistic composition also stems from my fascination with the fact that in the end, we all become stories. When it comes to composing or honing one’s words of remembrance, I’m almost always ready to lend a pen. Over the years, I’ve learned the importance of saying no, and usually politely decline most of these solicitations for free editorial assistance, unless someone is asking for help with an obituary or eulogy. I’m also frequently paged to help with wedding toasts, job applications and dating profiles.
If someone’s kid is applying for colleges, chances are high I’ll get an email asking if I have time to edit (i.e., completely rewrite) their personal essay. I’m the writer in my family, which means that I am offered a great deal of unpaid work from my loved ones.
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